Someday is not a day on my calendar - Elaine Froese | Canada’s Farm Whisperer | Your go-to expert for farm families who want better communication and conflict resolution to secure a successful farm transition

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Someday is not a day on my calendar

by | Nov 18, 2021 | Farm Family, Farm Family Coaching, Farming Business, Grainews Articles

I’m sure you may have heard a farmer say, “Someday this farm will be his”, or “Someday we will get to the lawyer’s office, but we have work to do!” My sister Barbara Edie wrote the headline “someday is not a day on my calendar” when she relayed the memories of an active 1988 spent with my other sister Grace who died tragically that year at the hands of a drunk driver on November 13th.

Barb’s resolve was to never put things off, and not let “someday” creep into her thinking.

Folks on the farm hope to take time off “someday!”

The word procrastinate is formed from two Latin words – pro, meaning ‘forward’, and crastinus, meaning ‘belonging to tomorrow’. So, procrastination is the act of putting something into tomorrow and, of course, it suggests that it is always ‘in tomorrow’ – so never gets done. (Hugh Culver, author of Stop Procrastinating Today)

Why do we put things off, special family times that we know only have a certain window of opportunity? Why delay plans to make our farm businesses healthier?

My speaker friend Pierrette Desrosiers says that there are 5 main causes of procrastination.

  1. A lack of planning and vision.
  2. Perfectionism
  3. A rebellious spirit.
  4. A quest for adrenaline, liking to work under pressure.
  5. Don’t like doing a particular task, acting like a “spoiled child”.

My speaker friend Hugh Culver, believes “You are not a procrastinator”, you always get more of what you focus on. He calls us to re-frame our decision-making, and start developing better decision-making habits.

In farm families, I sense there is a huge sense of overwhelm, so people get stressed and just shut down. When I show up as a coach we work to make an action plan that is realistic, to consider the steps along the way. For example, you know you need to update your will. The first step, find the old copy. The second step, call the lawyer for a first appointment. The third step, talk to your spouse and then book a time to converse with your family. Now is a good time to have some of these important conversations after family suppers.

Focus and execute was a mantra that caught my eye and has become a common expression for me. To establish a plan you need to think about what goals you want to reach. Break things down into steps, and work out the timelines for execution. Deadlines work for me, if I post them in my computer calendar, I can keep them top of mind, and move them along. The reward for me as a writer to meet deadlines is that I get paid! What rewards can you build into the projects that you are avoiding?

One summer the junkie steel, augers, etc., needed to be removed from our bush. Wes encouraged all the employees to participate in the load the flat deck project. Each employee’s reward for this “not so fun” cleaning job was to have the money from their load, a little added incentive not to keep stashing old equipment in the trees.

Take the first step. Make the phone call for an appointment with the painter, lawyer, carpenter, plumber, doctor, etc. Moving it out of your brain and starting to take action will beget more action.

Decide to let go of perfection and just start the project. Weight loss is a classic procrastination issue, and farmers who are riding equipment, eating Saskatoon pie with lots of ice cream, and avoiding their doctors can relate to feeling bad about not dealing with their health.

Culver suggests that each decision is either doing or avoiding, much like a scale. I am stepping on the scale, so I know my weight is not good, but what I am avoiding is tracking my portions. I also should be avoiding pie with ice cream!

“SHOULD.” Counselors use a term “don’t should on yourself”. Rather than saying, “I should talk to my son and his wife about their vision for this farm”, say “I am going to start having conversations about what is working for our family farm team, and what needs to change.”

Think about what time of day you have the best energy to do the hard work. As a writer, I like to have a 2-hour block of quiet time in the mornings. Once I get “in the zone”, I don’t answer the pings of my texts or the phone. What would it look like if you took 90 minutes this morning to tackle a tough project that you have been putting off?

Would it help to have a buddy? Our seed plant office had a lot of mud one spring after 8 inches of rain and lots of traffic. When I started to try to find the floor, it did my spirit and energy level a lot of good to have a cleaning buddy. My mom always used to say “many hands make light work.” Sometimes the work we are avoiding may be more fun with a team approach. I haven’t been able to convince my family on this one with weeding the garden, but start that kind of training with young children and you may have better results than I did!

Stephen Covey wrote about doing the urgent things, not the important things. Take some time to develop a “rallying cry” to getting things done.

Let me know what project you completed, and I will send you a copy of my ebook “Planting the Seed of Hope.” A reward for you!

Have fun with your family this winter. Don’t put that off!

***

Elaine Froese is a life-long learner of ways to get things done. Her passion is to help farm families find harmony through understanding in their transition journey. Sign up for her blog and buy her books at www.elainefroese.com. Do it now!

Visit Elaine’s store or watch her new speaker reel.

Did you enjoy Someday is not a day on my calendar You might want to check these articles out too:

It’s okay to ask for help
Who gets to do what on this farm? A family roles guide.
Creating a sense of urgency is a good thing

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