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Farm Women Say Goodbye to Money Issues by Identifying Your Money ScriptsDo you want to get a better handle on your money issues? Deborah Owens, the author of A Purse of Your Own, says that “a man is not a financial plan!” It’s a sobering thought to realize that 90 percent of women will one day be in charge of their family’s finances. According to the National Center for Women and Retirement Research over 75 percent of women are widowed at an average age of 56, and 25 percent of these women are broke within two months of being widowed.

As I was researching, I came across the work of Drs. Brad and Ted Klontz, a father and son team who do “boot camps” to help people deal with their money issues. Some of the work they do focuses on “money scripts” which are our beliefs about money. Brad gave me permission to share his top 15 money scripts that mess folks up. Do you agree or disagree with the following scripts?

Top 15 Money Scripts that Mess People Up

  1. It is important to save for a rainy day.
  1. Giving money to others is something people should do.
  1. Money buys freedom.
  1. I have to work hard to be sure I have enough money.
  1. I deserve money.
  1. Your self-worth equals your net worth.
  1. It is okay to keep secrets from your partner about money.
  1. More money will make you happier.
  1. I do not deserve a lot of money when others have less than I do.
  1. I will never be able to afford the things I really want in life.
  1. Things would get better if I had more money.
  1. If you are good, your financial needs will be taken care of.
  1. It takes money to make money.
  1. If I had to borrow money to get what I want, I would do it.
  1. You can’t trust people around money.

I am curious if you would take this list of beliefs and compare them to what your spouse feels about money.  My concern for women is that I see married women who are not paying attention to the finances, and there is a great likelihood that they will need to be in charge someday. I also see a lot of fear about “having enough” for the type of lifestyle that is desired after age 70, when there is still 15 or more years of living to enjoy.

Tips for Planning Your Financial Life

I feel strongly that married women should plan their financial life as if they will be on their own someday. Here’s how you can get started today:

  • Get involved now.
  • Keep track of what you need for family living.
  • Keep organized records so you know where your money is.
  • Have your own retirement investment account.
  • Get professional financial planning and investment advice.
  • Consider taking courses on how to be a smart investor.
  • Build up your money smarts and confidence.
  • Write down your financial goals, and know the security of “having enough.”
  • Figure out your net worth by taking a complete inventory of your assets and liabilities.

[Tweet “#Farm women, say goodbye to your #money issues. Here’re some money facts and tips you need to read.”]

10 Excuses about Money that Hold You Back

A Globe and Mail article by Ruth Petty once gave ten reasons why people fail financially. You can also help avoid money issues by working to bust these excuses:

  1. Procrastination. Today is a great day to start being smarter with your money.
  1. Lack of goals. Folks who write out their goals achieve more.
  1. Not knowing how to establish goals. Start reading “A Purse of Your Own” by Deborah Owens.
  1. Insufficient knowledge of the tax laws. Talk to your accountant and ask questions. Manitoban Rita Tully shows women how a tax-free savings account grows best when placed in a self-directed portfolio, not a GIC!
  1. Improper insurance plans. Find a trusted advisor referred by savvy friends.
  1. Debt accumulation. Get rid of your personal credit card debts.
  1. Lack of understanding of inflation. Your money returns need to beat the cost of living index.
  1. Fear. False evidence appearing real. What fears are keeping you stuck?
  1. Negligence in monitoring financial portfolios. Start asking questions of your investment broker and read “The Skeptical Investor.”
  1. Poor attitude. Your mind games around money may not be serving you well.

What Does Money Mean to You?

I asked some women what money meant to them. Here are some of the answers I got: power, freedom, adventure, love, status, abundance, scarcity, energy, giving. So what does money mean to you? When you start to talk about what money means to you, the conversation is enriched as you explore your mental money triggers.

I don’t keep financial secrets from my husband, and he is honest with me also. The impact of money secrets and other “undiscussable’s” may be harming you. Perhaps you are into “retail therapy” and are overspending like a shopaholic because you have unmet emotional needs. It might be that your role on the farm has changed, and you are looking for financial freedom and security beyond the income streams of the farm. Perhaps you are tired of enabling your adult children by continually bailing them out of their money woes. There is a myriad of money triggers that cause conflict and distress in families.

The important thing is to identify your money beliefs and scripts and start talking about how those beliefs are impacting your behavior with money.

10 Reasons You Might Not Be Taking Action

If you are avoiding your money issues and not taking control of your finances, here are some of my reasons why you might not be taking action:

  1. You can’t ask for help.
  1. You don’t want to rock the boat, so you avoid money conflicts.
  1. You feel you don’t deserve to succeed.
  1. You are afraid to change.
  1. You are too busy with life to focus on your money issues.
  1. You have no money of your own.
  1. You are a hockey mom…always running.
  1. You don’t think you can afford a financial planner.
  1. You think things will just happen, that you should let fate decide your future.
  1. You don’t feel smart enough to learn more about your money.

I challenge you to embrace the emotional factors affecting your money sense. Draw a map of your family members and identify the scripts and feelings portrayed about money in your family of origin.  Figure out why you aren’t intentionally taking control of your financial well-being. Borrow “Wired for Wealth” from your library and get insights from Brad and Ted Klontz.

My wish for you is that you always have “enough.” Make it happen by assessing your scripts about money, and resolving your money issues before it’s too late.

Fixing Your Time Stress Mess

60 minutes

Workaholics will discover helpful strategies for managing their time stress. Gain understanding for the tensions of your age and stage on the farm. Learn why some problems are not solvable, but just need to be managed as polarities. Self-renewing people are joyful and productive producers.

$15

Rave reviews

“A joy to work with, heard loud and clear. When the farmers laughed or asked a great question, I knew they were listening and really wanted to learn from her. Her tips were easy to understand. It was just about understanding that conflict happens, and to have the confidence in yourself to ask for what you want. In the glowing review from farmers after her presentation, I knew they had heard that loud and clear.”
Maddy Berner, Event Planner & Communications Coordinator, National Milk Producers Federation National Milk Producers Federation
“I wanted to say a HUGE thank you for your virtual kitchen table chat with Arlan Academy. My wife and I signed up as it was exceptionally relevant to our current journey with potentially transitioning to her parents’ farm. The session was able to cover so many aspects of these crucial conversations and hearing you speak to both sides of the conversation was eye opening for my own perspective on this topic. It seemed to be very well attended and sounded like there were many other people who would echo my thoughts and feelings on it.”
N. Oakley, Farmer, Ontario
“Elaine helped me allocate $1 Million of assets the night I listened to her. Elaine’s presentation brings value to the use of my services in my office.”
Don Forbes, Forbes Wealth Management
“I recently joined in and listened to your Healthy Farmer Agriwebinar for FMC. I truly enjoyed hearing your perspective and even went and grabbed my Mom, away from her work, to come and listen in on some of your main points as well! One area that really stood out for me, both personally with our own succession plans and with our clients, was your discussion involving "Instant Influence" and how ready are you to change? I loved this concept!”
Annessa Good, FCC Transition Specialist, Alberta
“Elaine Froese truly is the Farm Whisperer. With her big heart and stern resolve, she guides families through uncharted waters and helps them arrive safely at their desired destination. She has been there, done that, and has helped hundreds of families come out on the other side. With your family and your farm legacy on the line, you owe it to yourself to start this conversation. You do not need to do it alone. Let Elaine Froese guide you through. Your legacy is being written day by day. How will you be remembered?”
Tracy Brunet, Host of The Impact Farming Show & CEO of Farm Marketer
“You speak like you’ve been sitting at our kitchen table! You know our family issues well. I am feeling more comfortable understanding what we now need to do. Elaine Froese is real.”
Audience Member,
“I attended the meeting you spoke at in Stratford Ontario recently. We held an emergency family/farm meeting today because of issues that I had enough of. We used a 'talking stick' like you recommended and wrote a chart of rules. The rest of the family thought the idea that we needed a meeting was worth rolling their eyes over, until we got started. The younger ones were quick to clue in that they now have an opportunity to be bluntly honest. The older ones took a bit longer to believe they could truly say what they think. In the end, the meeting needed two sessions because there was so much to talk about… and so many things people didn't realize were a big deal to the others. Your lessons and encouragement have given us the tools we need to get to a better place in our relationships and our business. Truly thankful.”
Kim Martin, Dairy Farmer, Ontario
“Helped me develop my framework to start having constructive and meaningful conversations around the farm.”
Tennille Wakefield, Farm Partner
“Some great lessons, Elaine! You continue to do some remarkable and potentially life-changing work.”
James Mitchell, Principal, Conversations Consulting
“Our family had a good farm meeting yesterday afternoon. Your Fairness video was a great topic of discussion. One of the action items after the meeting was to have my two non-farming siblings watch the video before the next big meeting they are involved with on the farm. It will be a great conversation starter as we catch them up on our current plan. As they are younger, we also hope it will help them to ask new questions that may not have been on their mind.”
G.G., Farm Family Legacy Coach, Alberta
“Elaine gives me excellent tools that help me work with my clients!”
Laurianne Osmack, Financial Planner / Partner, Doell Osmak Wealth Management
“She has a sense of “knowing” quickly what is happening in the family dynamic. Her messages to her audiences drive home what needs to be done next to solve the complex issues of farm transition and conflict resolution.”
Audience Member,
“Eye-opening. Excited to open the door of communication with my spouse and farm family.”
Ashley Hoppe, Farm Partner
“The Strong Farms, Strong Families session gave farm families an opportunity to meet face to face with Elaine Froese... hear her own story, experiences and skill set. From this information packed session and related materials, families could identify areas of success in their journey and other places they need assistance. The greatest take away was that participants could see that Elaine Froese is someone they can trust with the things that they hold most precious.... their family and their farm.”
Nancy Atkinson, Nobleford Ag Society, Alberta
“Elaine’s real-life scenarios help her audiences know they are not alone, knowing there are creative solutions to help them get the life on the farm they have always wanted.”
Audience Member,
“A long time female client who had refined the art of procrastination was so moved by the end of your presentation that she accepted your permission to “drop the bananas.” She contacted me soon after for an appointment to do some planning which included the selling of the family “Century Farm.” A very, very emotional decision on her part that was not likely to have occurred without your presentation.”
Don Forbes, Forbes Wealthy Management
“I just have to say… that your work is amazing and I have never forgotten your teachings from our session in Williams Lake at TRU. It is super important work. I know so many people going through the trauma of succession. I hate to use that word, but I was an “out-law” and know it can get terrible. I continue to forward your emails on to others. Keep doing what you do! You are amazing. You kind of walk into the fire regularly… and with a smile. Proud to have met you.”
Megan, BC Rancher
“As my husband and I eagerly started the course we were optimistic and excited to be taking this next step in our Farm Transition. We were starting to question ourselves and whether or not we were just being selfish and greedy, and if this Farm Transition was still an option for us. We barely got through the first Module and were already having such a huge relief. As we moved through the modulus there were so many times that we just sat back with our hands in the air and thought YES. My husband and I would smile with relief because all of the concerns that we have been struggling with were relevant and came up in the modules. We really enjoyed the course and are excited to move on to the next stages to find our farm resolution.”
Shannon Gilchrist, “Get Farm Transition Unstuck” online course participant
“My hubby farms with 2 brothers and parents, and it’s become a really toxic place. No communication, no respect, etc. Twelve months ago, my husband’s brothers told him they don’t want to work with him anymore and offered him a pay out. His parents did nothing to stop it! He had no choice but to leave. Three months later, we moved off the farm and into town. He has been offered heaps of jobs and is now truck driving and carting hay and grain. We have tried communicating with his parents about what happened but they are not interested. So basically my hubby has lost his family. Very sad but we as husband and wife are overall in a good place and moving on to create our own life. Please continue on with all your wonderful work in helping families on the farm. I continue to tell any farmers I know about you, that they must ‘google’ you, and read your books.”
Donna, Farmer, Australia

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