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Farm Widow Business Savvy Preparing For the Unfortunate
Another fatal farm accident reports hit my ears, just after presenting to a large group. “Another young farm widow joins a club she does not ever want to belong to; I wonder how she will manage the farm, her family, herself.” I wonder.

Now that I belong to the “Freedom 59” club, I am not retiring from my coaching practice or my supportive role to my farming husband. I do, however, think about how I would manage 5000 acres and a seed business if Wes were to die soon. How would I even prepare to be a young widow? (59 is young, 86 is the new life expectancy for women in Canada).

It is not something any of us likes to think about but is a possibility that we should all prepare for. It is a process that requires much courage and here are some ways to help you walk through the preparation and planning process.

10 Steps to Help Prepare for the Unfortunate Chance of Becoming a Farm Widow

1. Talk about what you would do. Share “what if” scenarios with your spouse so that you have a clear indication of their intent and wishes for you to carry on. Consider whom you would hire as part of your team of advisers. Find good recommendations via word of mouth referrals and the business directory of Canadian Association of Farm Advisors. Use this year to plan a calendar of events of farm activities and deadlines that keep you up to date with farm management. Visit the accountant with your spouse for tax planning.

2. Develop a relationship with a financial planner whom you as a couple both trust and respect. This is looking at your lifestyle income needs, your personal investment risk tolerance, and your goals for insuring your debt, estate tax liabilities, and long-term care or critical illness possibilities. I expect that you know how to write cheques and balance the accounts. Unfortunately, I have met women my age who never touched the family’s finances! UGH! Get a clear picture of what you actually spend on living, because as a widow you’ll be negotiating cash flow with your successors who also have living needs.

3. Update and review your insurance. I am hearing stories about men who are outliving their insurance policies, and not renewing them due to high premiums. They do not have the $600K cash from the proceeds they intended to share with non-business heirs. They do not want the farm to pay the premiums. In another case, the dad canceled the insurance, without letting the family know, and you can bet the grieving family was more than shocked when that uninsured fellow dropped dead due to a heart attack a few years later.

4. Ask your accountant all the dumb questions you need to. There are no dumb questions, just lots of assumptions that are waiting for clarification. My chartered accountant is concerned when she interviews farm widows who have never engaged even at a basic level of caring about the farm finances. It is time to learn more about the balance sheets, debt service and asset values you are going to have to make decisions on! I am saddened to hear from wealthy widows who had no clue how rich they were and now are not able to embrace a financial strategy to enjoy their status as their health is failing. Do you have a poverty mentality based on false assumptions about your net worth? Do you have titles with your name on them?

[Tweet “Here are 10 steps for #farm wives & widows to prepare for the unfortunate future. #succession”]

5. Check to see that you have an enduring power of attorney with an adult child you trust, and an alternate. If you are a widow and become incapacitated from making decisions, then who do you trust to take care of you? Do this before you are assessed with mental health issues and are still thinking clearly.

6. Make a life binder manual to have all your documents in order. This would include any contact information for advisers, plumbers, electricians, etc. You can download forms to fill in at www.rightrisk.org. I’ve written about this before, and my binder is started but needs a blizzard day to get done. As the executor of an estate, it helps to know where all the important papers are. Also, don’t forget to write down necessary computer passwords.

7. Encourage your husband to write down all the things in his head that the farm needs to know for ongoing farm management. Men hate to do this. How can you make it easier? I have purchased Dick Wittman’s consulting binder which is full of templates and operating procedures. This might be a great task to tackle with your young successors, who would like to see things on paper while Dad is still alive and well to put his wisdom into text. The young widow that I mentioned has a lot of cows to feed, and the ration ratios died with the farmer. What information needs to be shared with your farm team to pass along the managerial tasks smoothly?

8. Book a spa day when you can celebrate getting all your affairs in order. Alternatively, buy your favorite book. Have something to look forward to, maybe a date with your hubby to tell him how thankful you are for his love and provision. Men ( and women) have a tough go on farms, and carry a lot of stress around being successful providers. They need some appreciation now, not just at their eulogy.

9. Start planning your funeral, and ask the funeral director for a template of the invoice your family is going to receive. You’d be shocked at all the “add-ons” of services, and making pre-arrangements can be helpful so that decisions do not need to be made in the emotionally charged days of fresh grief. Ask your husband to tell stories about his prized possessions, and then list the names and articles that he wishes to gift. Better yet, give the gifts with a warm hand.

10. Ask the next generation to help you build a  digital  DVD collection of farm photos and family shots that diarize the legacy your farm family has enjoyed over the years. The story is not finished yet, but start working on the chapters of your life story now. When my dad died, I relied heavily on a creative memories photo album that I had created for his 75th birthday. Get working on those photo archives and relive the great memories of cherishing your family.

Fixing Your Time Stress Mess

60 minutes

Workaholics will discover helpful strategies for managing their time stress. Gain understanding for the tensions of your age and stage on the farm. Learn why some problems are not solvable, but just need to be managed as polarities. Self-renewing people are joyful and productive producers.

$15

Rave reviews

“A joy to work with, heard loud and clear. When the farmers laughed or asked a great question, I knew they were listening and really wanted to learn from her. Her tips were easy to understand. It was just about understanding that conflict happens, and to have the confidence in yourself to ask for what you want. In the glowing review from farmers after her presentation, I knew they had heard that loud and clear.”
Maddy Berner, Event Planner & Communications Coordinator, National Milk Producers Federation National Milk Producers Federation
“I wanted to say a HUGE thank you for your virtual kitchen table chat with Arlan Academy. My wife and I signed up as it was exceptionally relevant to our current journey with potentially transitioning to her parents’ farm. The session was able to cover so many aspects of these crucial conversations and hearing you speak to both sides of the conversation was eye opening for my own perspective on this topic. It seemed to be very well attended and sounded like there were many other people who would echo my thoughts and feelings on it.”
N. Oakley, Farmer, Ontario
“Elaine helped me allocate $1 Million of assets the night I listened to her. Elaine’s presentation brings value to the use of my services in my office.”
Don Forbes, Forbes Wealth Management
“I recently joined in and listened to your Healthy Farmer Agriwebinar for FMC. I truly enjoyed hearing your perspective and even went and grabbed my Mom, away from her work, to come and listen in on some of your main points as well! One area that really stood out for me, both personally with our own succession plans and with our clients, was your discussion involving "Instant Influence" and how ready are you to change? I loved this concept!”
Annessa Good, FCC Transition Specialist, Alberta
“Elaine Froese truly is the Farm Whisperer. With her big heart and stern resolve, she guides families through uncharted waters and helps them arrive safely at their desired destination. She has been there, done that, and has helped hundreds of families come out on the other side. With your family and your farm legacy on the line, you owe it to yourself to start this conversation. You do not need to do it alone. Let Elaine Froese guide you through. Your legacy is being written day by day. How will you be remembered?”
Tracy Brunet, Host of The Impact Farming Show & CEO of Farm Marketer
“You speak like you’ve been sitting at our kitchen table! You know our family issues well. I am feeling more comfortable understanding what we now need to do. Elaine Froese is real.”
Audience Member,
“I attended the meeting you spoke at in Stratford Ontario recently. We held an emergency family/farm meeting today because of issues that I had enough of. We used a 'talking stick' like you recommended and wrote a chart of rules. The rest of the family thought the idea that we needed a meeting was worth rolling their eyes over, until we got started. The younger ones were quick to clue in that they now have an opportunity to be bluntly honest. The older ones took a bit longer to believe they could truly say what they think. In the end, the meeting needed two sessions because there was so much to talk about… and so many things people didn't realize were a big deal to the others. Your lessons and encouragement have given us the tools we need to get to a better place in our relationships and our business. Truly thankful.”
Kim Martin, Dairy Farmer, Ontario
“Helped me develop my framework to start having constructive and meaningful conversations around the farm.”
Tennille Wakefield, Farm Partner
“Some great lessons, Elaine! You continue to do some remarkable and potentially life-changing work.”
James Mitchell, Principal, Conversations Consulting
“Our family had a good farm meeting yesterday afternoon. Your Fairness video was a great topic of discussion. One of the action items after the meeting was to have my two non-farming siblings watch the video before the next big meeting they are involved with on the farm. It will be a great conversation starter as we catch them up on our current plan. As they are younger, we also hope it will help them to ask new questions that may not have been on their mind.”
G.G., Farm Family Legacy Coach, Alberta
“Elaine gives me excellent tools that help me work with my clients!”
Laurianne Osmack, Financial Planner / Partner, Doell Osmak Wealth Management
“She has a sense of “knowing” quickly what is happening in the family dynamic. Her messages to her audiences drive home what needs to be done next to solve the complex issues of farm transition and conflict resolution.”
Audience Member,
“Eye-opening. Excited to open the door of communication with my spouse and farm family.”
Ashley Hoppe, Farm Partner
“The Strong Farms, Strong Families session gave farm families an opportunity to meet face to face with Elaine Froese... hear her own story, experiences and skill set. From this information packed session and related materials, families could identify areas of success in their journey and other places they need assistance. The greatest take away was that participants could see that Elaine Froese is someone they can trust with the things that they hold most precious.... their family and their farm.”
Nancy Atkinson, Nobleford Ag Society, Alberta
“Elaine’s real-life scenarios help her audiences know they are not alone, knowing there are creative solutions to help them get the life on the farm they have always wanted.”
Audience Member,
“A long time female client who had refined the art of procrastination was so moved by the end of your presentation that she accepted your permission to “drop the bananas.” She contacted me soon after for an appointment to do some planning which included the selling of the family “Century Farm.” A very, very emotional decision on her part that was not likely to have occurred without your presentation.”
Don Forbes, Forbes Wealthy Management
“I just have to say… that your work is amazing and I have never forgotten your teachings from our session in Williams Lake at TRU. It is super important work. I know so many people going through the trauma of succession. I hate to use that word, but I was an “out-law” and know it can get terrible. I continue to forward your emails on to others. Keep doing what you do! You are amazing. You kind of walk into the fire regularly… and with a smile. Proud to have met you.”
Megan, BC Rancher
“As my husband and I eagerly started the course we were optimistic and excited to be taking this next step in our Farm Transition. We were starting to question ourselves and whether or not we were just being selfish and greedy, and if this Farm Transition was still an option for us. We barely got through the first Module and were already having such a huge relief. As we moved through the modulus there were so many times that we just sat back with our hands in the air and thought YES. My husband and I would smile with relief because all of the concerns that we have been struggling with were relevant and came up in the modules. We really enjoyed the course and are excited to move on to the next stages to find our farm resolution.”
Shannon Gilchrist, “Get Farm Transition Unstuck” online course participant
“My hubby farms with 2 brothers and parents, and it’s become a really toxic place. No communication, no respect, etc. Twelve months ago, my husband’s brothers told him they don’t want to work with him anymore and offered him a pay out. His parents did nothing to stop it! He had no choice but to leave. Three months later, we moved off the farm and into town. He has been offered heaps of jobs and is now truck driving and carting hay and grain. We have tried communicating with his parents about what happened but they are not interested. So basically my hubby has lost his family. Very sad but we as husband and wife are overall in a good place and moving on to create our own life. Please continue on with all your wonderful work in helping families on the farm. I continue to tell any farmers I know about you, that they must ‘google’ you, and read your books.”
Donna, Farmer, Australia

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