Blogs

Hopefully you are now singing ” all is safely gathered in” as the garden is put to bed for

the winter, and crop work is nearing completion. The farming seasons offer us constant

challenges and yet many joys. Are you finding joy in your journey?

Have you been talking to yourself lately? Are these happy, self‑affirming thoughts? Did

you enjoy a good belly laugh this week? Enough probing. The way we talk to ourselves

has a big effect on how we feel and how we see things happening around us.

Positive self‑talk is saying “I can”, setting your mind to meet the challenge at hand. As

parents of young children, Wes and I are often challenged with replacing put‑downs with

building comments like “yes, you can do it!” Even adults get trapped with “I blew it,”

rather than “next time I’ll get it right,” or “I just know I’ll screw it up,” rather than “I’11

learn from my mistakes and eventually I’ll be able to do it!”

Family therapist, Virginia Satir came from a family who used the expression “full‑pot”.

Mother might declare, “be nice to me, I’m having a half‑pot day!” Having a full pot meant

you were feeling good about yourself and quite positive in your outlook . The actual large

black cast iron pot on their farm was used for soap‑making, soups, and moving smelly

stuff.

The way we talk to ourselves, our self‑talk is our choice. We choose to be positive, seeing

the glass of water in our hand as half‑full, while the negative approach is to see it half­

empty. There is also the GIGO factor. Garbage In means Garbage Out. What kinds of

things are you feeding your mind? Someone once said that the two biggest factors for

our happiness in life are the people we meet and the books we read.

Strong families practice good communication skills which enhance positive self‑talk. Are

you quick to snuffout negative name‑calling or labels in your conversations? Try

changing the comment “if only I would have” to “next time I will” Can your family

count on you to listen intently to their feelings ? Does your body language (affection, eye

contact, open arms) communicate acceptance?

A wonderful birthday letter from a friend who appreciated our relationship challenged me

with an encouragement to “lighten up. ” Take stock of your thought life and find moments

of joy in your journey. Here are some ideas:

‑Sing or whistle a merry tune. My father‑in‑law was easily found on our yard if we would

just listen for his whistling. Sing along with the radio or join a community choir.

‑Connect with a friend. Phone calls, the coffee shop, or a handwritten letter bring good

news. Hang around with positive people.

‑Read something inspirational. For some this is a daily must of connecting to God’s word

in the Bible. Feed your soul and spirited self‑talk will follow.

‑Laugh. I delighted in listening to my son read his joke book when he was younger. Hopefully cartoons  will give you a good chuckle and send those healthy endorphins flowing in your

brain to make you feel better. “A joyful heart is good medicine.(Proverbs 17:22)” Look

for humor in everyday situations and share funny situations with others.

‑‑Craft and create. Whether your forte is fancy woodworking or wool making, something

of beauty creates more energy and enjoyment. Make a list of fun things you enjoy doing,

and do them! Your kids and grandkids would love to fulfill your list with you!

‑Look up! Our  adopted grand-children are waiting to see the Northern Lights. Soon  the hunters will be

looking up for geese. Whether you’re after stars or birds, appreciate the peaceful

wonder around you .Say “wow, that’s awesome” to yourself

‑Play! Take a play break. The reason toddlers have so much energy is that they don’t get

stuck at one task they change gears often. If playing to you is taking something apart in

your workshop, share the fun with a younger person.

Take the time to find moments of joy, a few minutes or a few hours every day. Learn to

laugh at yourself in a kind way. Talk to yourself with positive comments and say with

fervor “I like myself”.  You are lovable and capable. Lighten up!

Rave reviews

“A joy to work with, heard loud and clear. When the farmers laughed or asked a great question, I knew they were listening and really wanted to learn from her. Her tips were easy to understand. It was just about understanding that conflict happens, and to have the confidence in yourself to ask for what you want. In the glowing review from farmers after her presentation, I knew they had heard that loud and clear.”
Maddy Berner, Event Planner & Communications Coordinator, National Milk Producers Federation National Milk Producers Federation
“I wanted to say a HUGE thank you for your virtual kitchen table chat with Arlan Academy. My wife and I signed up as it was exceptionally relevant to our current journey with potentially transitioning to her parents’ farm. The session was able to cover so many aspects of these crucial conversations and hearing you speak to both sides of the conversation was eye opening for my own perspective on this topic. It seemed to be very well attended and sounded like there were many other people who would echo my thoughts and feelings on it.”
N. Oakley, Farmer, Ontario
“Elaine helped me allocate $1 Million of assets the night I listened to her. Elaine’s presentation brings value to the use of my services in my office.”
Don Forbes, Forbes Wealth Management
“I recently joined in and listened to your Healthy Farmer Agriwebinar for FMC. I truly enjoyed hearing your perspective and even went and grabbed my Mom, away from her work, to come and listen in on some of your main points as well! One area that really stood out for me, both personally with our own succession plans and with our clients, was your discussion involving "Instant Influence" and how ready are you to change? I loved this concept!”
Annessa Good, FCC Transition Specialist, Alberta
“Elaine Froese truly is the Farm Whisperer. With her big heart and stern resolve, she guides families through uncharted waters and helps them arrive safely at their desired destination. She has been there, done that, and has helped hundreds of families come out on the other side. With your family and your farm legacy on the line, you owe it to yourself to start this conversation. You do not need to do it alone. Let Elaine Froese guide you through. Your legacy is being written day by day. How will you be remembered?”
Tracy Brunet, Host of The Impact Farming Show & CEO of Farm Marketer
“You speak like you’ve been sitting at our kitchen table! You know our family issues well. I am feeling more comfortable understanding what we now need to do. Elaine Froese is real.”
Audience Member,
“I attended the meeting you spoke at in Stratford Ontario recently. We held an emergency family/farm meeting today because of issues that I had enough of. We used a 'talking stick' like you recommended and wrote a chart of rules. The rest of the family thought the idea that we needed a meeting was worth rolling their eyes over, until we got started. The younger ones were quick to clue in that they now have an opportunity to be bluntly honest. The older ones took a bit longer to believe they could truly say what they think. In the end, the meeting needed two sessions because there was so much to talk about… and so many things people didn't realize were a big deal to the others. Your lessons and encouragement have given us the tools we need to get to a better place in our relationships and our business. Truly thankful.”
Kim Martin, Dairy Farmer, Ontario
“Helped me develop my framework to start having constructive and meaningful conversations around the farm.”
Tennille Wakefield, Farm Partner
“Some great lessons, Elaine! You continue to do some remarkable and potentially life-changing work.”
James Mitchell, Principal, Conversations Consulting
“Our family had a good farm meeting yesterday afternoon. Your Fairness video was a great topic of discussion. One of the action items after the meeting was to have my two non-farming siblings watch the video before the next big meeting they are involved with on the farm. It will be a great conversation starter as we catch them up on our current plan. As they are younger, we also hope it will help them to ask new questions that may not have been on their mind.”
G.G., Farm Family Legacy Coach, Alberta
“Elaine gives me excellent tools that help me work with my clients!”
Laurianne Osmack, Financial Planner / Partner, Doell Osmak Wealth Management
“She has a sense of “knowing” quickly what is happening in the family dynamic. Her messages to her audiences drive home what needs to be done next to solve the complex issues of farm transition and conflict resolution.”
Audience Member,
“Eye-opening. Excited to open the door of communication with my spouse and farm family.”
Ashley Hoppe, Farm Partner
“The Strong Farms, Strong Families session gave farm families an opportunity to meet face to face with Elaine Froese... hear her own story, experiences and skill set. From this information packed session and related materials, families could identify areas of success in their journey and other places they need assistance. The greatest take away was that participants could see that Elaine Froese is someone they can trust with the things that they hold most precious.... their family and their farm.”
Nancy Atkinson, Nobleford Ag Society, Alberta
“Elaine’s real-life scenarios help her audiences know they are not alone, knowing there are creative solutions to help them get the life on the farm they have always wanted.”
Audience Member,
“A long time female client who had refined the art of procrastination was so moved by the end of your presentation that she accepted your permission to “drop the bananas.” She contacted me soon after for an appointment to do some planning which included the selling of the family “Century Farm.” A very, very emotional decision on her part that was not likely to have occurred without your presentation.”
Don Forbes, Forbes Wealthy Management
“I just have to say… that your work is amazing and I have never forgotten your teachings from our session in Williams Lake at TRU. It is super important work. I know so many people going through the trauma of succession. I hate to use that word, but I was an “out-law” and know it can get terrible. I continue to forward your emails on to others. Keep doing what you do! You are amazing. You kind of walk into the fire regularly… and with a smile. Proud to have met you.”
Megan, BC Rancher
“As my husband and I eagerly started the course we were optimistic and excited to be taking this next step in our Farm Transition. We were starting to question ourselves and whether or not we were just being selfish and greedy, and if this Farm Transition was still an option for us. We barely got through the first Module and were already having such a huge relief. As we moved through the modulus there were so many times that we just sat back with our hands in the air and thought YES. My husband and I would smile with relief because all of the concerns that we have been struggling with were relevant and came up in the modules. We really enjoyed the course and are excited to move on to the next stages to find our farm resolution.”
Shannon Gilchrist, “Get Farm Transition Unstuck” online course participant
“My hubby farms with 2 brothers and parents, and it’s become a really toxic place. No communication, no respect, etc. Twelve months ago, my husband’s brothers told him they don’t want to work with him anymore and offered him a pay out. His parents did nothing to stop it! He had no choice but to leave. Three months later, we moved off the farm and into town. He has been offered heaps of jobs and is now truck driving and carting hay and grain. We have tried communicating with his parents about what happened but they are not interested. So basically my hubby has lost his family. Very sad but we as husband and wife are overall in a good place and moving on to create our own life. Please continue on with all your wonderful work in helping families on the farm. I continue to tell any farmers I know about you, that they must ‘google’ you, and read your books.”
Donna, Farmer, Australia

Book Elaine
for your next event

Contact Elaine to start the conversation.

+1-204-534-7466 | elaine(at)elainefroese.com

Contact Elaine