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As we flipped the chart of papers from the young farmers seminar in St. John’s a phrase caught my eye. A young producer had shared that one of the key insights of the day was “ I am not alone”.

Farm families are quite surprised to hear me affirm them with the words “ you are not alone” in their journey of conflict. Many families across the country are quick to hide what is really going on inside the farm kitchen door. They are proud, independent, self-sufficient entrepreneurs who have no desire to “air their dirty laundry.”

The funny thing about iconic Newfoundland pictures, is that you will often seen an artist’s rendering of the laundry being strung out to dry with the sea winds.

As the seeding season overtakes the brain power of your family and causes the stress of planting the crop  a timely fashion, I encourage you to process your thoughts as you let the auto steer guide you down the field.

In January I heard from a Colorado farmer who was applying fertilizer, while auto steer gave him the opportunity to view my webinars, and read my blog on www.elainefroese.com.

Don’t let your family issues go on auto-pilot and drift. Use the thinking and reflecting time on the tractor to set up a game plan to embrace your farm team in a great strategic vision session. Call your advisors,  maybe the chemical rep, who today was cited as the one who actually acts as an emotional support to the lonely farmer. The reps have seen lots of scenarios, and because they are deemed to be a “perfect stranger” type who won’t share the real issues, they are trusted as confidants in some circles.

Who is your emotional support group beyond the farm ?

I challenge you to drop your pride filters, and reach out to folks who can help you facilitate solutions to your conflict and communication barriers and blockages.

Misery does not love company. Knowing that thousands of other farm families are also trying to get their act together to do great business continuance, and work with family should give you hope that you can copy other’s success.

We need to hear more happy endings and success stories. I guess that’s why I am such a big fan of Country Guide magazine and Farm Management Canada stories that show us real folks who have embraced change and innovation to create a new chapter for their profitable farm business.

The assistant deputy minister of Agriculture for Newfoundland  Keith Deering, is concerned about the future food security of the “Rock”, since in l951 there were over 19,000 farmers on the island and now there are less than 1200.  Mr. Deering would like to see 100 young farmers at next year’s Newfounland Young Farmer’s Forum. Each region of our country has its unique challenges, but we can create a common bond of understanding and share resources across the miles.

Can you reach out and ask for help? When you get really badly stuck with the four wheel drive during seeding, you quickly ask for help, because time is of the essence. This year dust is more likely an issue than muck, but recall what it feels like to be stuck, frustrated, and feeling helpless to get out of the mess you are in.

Conflict is not bad. Being lonely and isolated is bad. Embrace outside advisors whom you trust to help you facilitate powerful conversations. The professional code of ethics that  the Canadian Association of Farm Advisors adheres to ensures that your family business will not become public knowledge. Ask your professional advisor to explain what confidentiality means to them, and how they practice it.

Pretending that all is well on the farm to protect your image and feed your pride is not helping you craft the healthy legacy that will sustain a profitable farm.

As agriculture producers, we are now less than 2% of the Canadian population, which makes us a very unique culture…and a minority.

Don’t whine about the “good old days”, create the great new days of 2012, and make this your best farming season ever with all the support you need to embrace the continuing change on your farm.

You are not alone.

Help is a cell phone call away, and a click on the internet.

Make the call.

Remember, it  is your farm, your family and your choice.

Fixing Your Time Stress Mess

60 minutes

Workaholics will discover helpful strategies for managing their time stress. Gain understanding for the tensions of your age and stage on the farm. Learn why some problems are not solvable, but just need to be managed as polarities. Self-renewing people are joyful and productive producers.

$15

Rave reviews

“A joy to work with, heard loud and clear. When the farmers laughed or asked a great question, I knew they were listening and really wanted to learn from her. Her tips were easy to understand. It was just about understanding that conflict happens, and to have the confidence in yourself to ask for what you want. In the glowing review from farmers after her presentation, I knew they had heard that loud and clear.”
Maddy Berner, Event Planner & Communications Coordinator, National Milk Producers Federation National Milk Producers Federation
“I wanted to say a HUGE thank you for your virtual kitchen table chat with Arlan Academy. My wife and I signed up as it was exceptionally relevant to our current journey with potentially transitioning to her parents’ farm. The session was able to cover so many aspects of these crucial conversations and hearing you speak to both sides of the conversation was eye opening for my own perspective on this topic. It seemed to be very well attended and sounded like there were many other people who would echo my thoughts and feelings on it.”
N. Oakley, Farmer, Ontario
“Elaine helped me allocate $1 Million of assets the night I listened to her. Elaine’s presentation brings value to the use of my services in my office.”
Don Forbes, Forbes Wealth Management
“I recently joined in and listened to your Healthy Farmer Agriwebinar for FMC. I truly enjoyed hearing your perspective and even went and grabbed my Mom, away from her work, to come and listen in on some of your main points as well! One area that really stood out for me, both personally with our own succession plans and with our clients, was your discussion involving "Instant Influence" and how ready are you to change? I loved this concept!”
Annessa Good, FCC Transition Specialist, Alberta
“Elaine Froese truly is the Farm Whisperer. With her big heart and stern resolve, she guides families through uncharted waters and helps them arrive safely at their desired destination. She has been there, done that, and has helped hundreds of families come out on the other side. With your family and your farm legacy on the line, you owe it to yourself to start this conversation. You do not need to do it alone. Let Elaine Froese guide you through. Your legacy is being written day by day. How will you be remembered?”
Tracy Brunet, Host of The Impact Farming Show & CEO of Farm Marketer
“You speak like you’ve been sitting at our kitchen table! You know our family issues well. I am feeling more comfortable understanding what we now need to do. Elaine Froese is real.”
Audience Member,
“I attended the meeting you spoke at in Stratford Ontario recently. We held an emergency family/farm meeting today because of issues that I had enough of. We used a 'talking stick' like you recommended and wrote a chart of rules. The rest of the family thought the idea that we needed a meeting was worth rolling their eyes over, until we got started. The younger ones were quick to clue in that they now have an opportunity to be bluntly honest. The older ones took a bit longer to believe they could truly say what they think. In the end, the meeting needed two sessions because there was so much to talk about… and so many things people didn't realize were a big deal to the others. Your lessons and encouragement have given us the tools we need to get to a better place in our relationships and our business. Truly thankful.”
Kim Martin, Dairy Farmer, Ontario
“Helped me develop my framework to start having constructive and meaningful conversations around the farm.”
Tennille Wakefield, Farm Partner
“Some great lessons, Elaine! You continue to do some remarkable and potentially life-changing work.”
James Mitchell, Principal, Conversations Consulting
“Our family had a good farm meeting yesterday afternoon. Your Fairness video was a great topic of discussion. One of the action items after the meeting was to have my two non-farming siblings watch the video before the next big meeting they are involved with on the farm. It will be a great conversation starter as we catch them up on our current plan. As they are younger, we also hope it will help them to ask new questions that may not have been on their mind.”
G.G., Farm Family Legacy Coach, Alberta
“Elaine gives me excellent tools that help me work with my clients!”
Laurianne Osmack, Financial Planner / Partner, Doell Osmak Wealth Management
“She has a sense of “knowing” quickly what is happening in the family dynamic. Her messages to her audiences drive home what needs to be done next to solve the complex issues of farm transition and conflict resolution.”
Audience Member,
“Eye-opening. Excited to open the door of communication with my spouse and farm family.”
Ashley Hoppe, Farm Partner
“The Strong Farms, Strong Families session gave farm families an opportunity to meet face to face with Elaine Froese... hear her own story, experiences and skill set. From this information packed session and related materials, families could identify areas of success in their journey and other places they need assistance. The greatest take away was that participants could see that Elaine Froese is someone they can trust with the things that they hold most precious.... their family and their farm.”
Nancy Atkinson, Nobleford Ag Society, Alberta
“Elaine’s real-life scenarios help her audiences know they are not alone, knowing there are creative solutions to help them get the life on the farm they have always wanted.”
Audience Member,
“A long time female client who had refined the art of procrastination was so moved by the end of your presentation that she accepted your permission to “drop the bananas.” She contacted me soon after for an appointment to do some planning which included the selling of the family “Century Farm.” A very, very emotional decision on her part that was not likely to have occurred without your presentation.”
Don Forbes, Forbes Wealthy Management
“I just have to say… that your work is amazing and I have never forgotten your teachings from our session in Williams Lake at TRU. It is super important work. I know so many people going through the trauma of succession. I hate to use that word, but I was an “out-law” and know it can get terrible. I continue to forward your emails on to others. Keep doing what you do! You are amazing. You kind of walk into the fire regularly… and with a smile. Proud to have met you.”
Megan, BC Rancher
“As my husband and I eagerly started the course we were optimistic and excited to be taking this next step in our Farm Transition. We were starting to question ourselves and whether or not we were just being selfish and greedy, and if this Farm Transition was still an option for us. We barely got through the first Module and were already having such a huge relief. As we moved through the modulus there were so many times that we just sat back with our hands in the air and thought YES. My husband and I would smile with relief because all of the concerns that we have been struggling with were relevant and came up in the modules. We really enjoyed the course and are excited to move on to the next stages to find our farm resolution.”
Shannon Gilchrist, “Get Farm Transition Unstuck” online course participant
“My hubby farms with 2 brothers and parents, and it’s become a really toxic place. No communication, no respect, etc. Twelve months ago, my husband’s brothers told him they don’t want to work with him anymore and offered him a pay out. His parents did nothing to stop it! He had no choice but to leave. Three months later, we moved off the farm and into town. He has been offered heaps of jobs and is now truck driving and carting hay and grain. We have tried communicating with his parents about what happened but they are not interested. So basically my hubby has lost his family. Very sad but we as husband and wife are overall in a good place and moving on to create our own life. Please continue on with all your wonderful work in helping families on the farm. I continue to tell any farmers I know about you, that they must ‘google’ you, and read your books.”
Donna, Farmer, Australia

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+1-204-534-7466 | elaine(at)elainefroese.com

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