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You can’t commend what you do not cherish.

Love one another.

I am thankful for a strong marriage, and I cherish my relationship with my husband. He gave me a 20th anniversary ring, a symbol of being cherished , showing me deep love, honour and respect. This winter we’ve shared time at an Alpha marriage course watching DVD’s and working privately in our workbooks. I highly recommend the course. How can you cherish your marriage?

Time: Marriage time..the foundation of 1-2 hours per week scheduled time to look each other in the eyes, hugs, hold hands, rub feet, walk, laugh, connect with the eyes of the soul..your soul-mate. This time needs to be booked on your calendar, PDA or day- timer.

Touch: non-sexual affection, a short kiss on the back of the neck at the kitchen sink, a hug hello, or a kiss goodbye. German business men who kiss their wives goodbye have fewer car accidents, and make more money ! Meaningful physical touch. A shoulder squeeze or back rub that says I care, I love you, and I want to connect with you.

Telling: verbal affirmation. ” I love you and you are beautiful, goodbye darling”. Use special terms of endearment…Affirm with the written word of “I love you” in your journal, your Bible, your day-timer, your palm pilot, and the wallpaper of your computer, and the file of encouragement that you would grab if the house was on fire.

What would you grab if your house was on fire?

Can you list 6 things that you deeply appreciate about your spouse, and then tell them?

Treating your spouse with the cleaning of the Chevy pick-up or hauling out the compost or sweeping off the fresh snow on the back porch. Making all the arrangement for a quick overnight to a B&B in the woods, or the pool at the hotel. Cooking supper. Booking the kids at grandma’s and delivering them there so you can work on the puzzle, Scramble game and bedroom fun, uninterrupted.!

Thinking: listening intently to what your spouse is feeling, and what they are afraid of. De-coding all those fear triggers and exploring how they were listened to as a child, and now how you feel cared for. Your caring list is expanded so you can think up new ways in this season of your marriage to care for your spouse so that they feel deeply cherished.

Travelling : without the suitcase just for the day to get away from the farm to gain a new perspective. The destination can be 150 km. friends, or a farm show, or an auction or antique store to explore. The truck becomes the conversation pit, and the cell phone is shut off , with your favourite Paul Overstreet CD on the stereo.

Treasures made by hand, found in the field, or tracked down with thought and care.” I made this antique desk for you , I brought you wild sunflowers and wheat heads from the field, I tracked down that book you wanted from the library. I cashed in the piggy bank stash for this rose for you. I paid for a cleaning lady to terrorize our house while we’re away. I bought the labour of these 2 teenage church kids to help us with this special project you’ve been wanting done for a long time.”

Tickling your funny bone, sharing good jokes, funny observations and avoiding teasing in a fun way to create that inner jogging and laughter that heals, creates joy, and helps put those deposits in the emotional bank account to weather the tough times. Show each other the comics or farm paper cartoons that tickle your funny bone, or give you a lighter perspective.

Tracking short accounts, and letting go of hurt with forgiveness. Going to bed, but not letting the sun go down on your anger. Seeing the intent, action and effect by testing out the issues, and being soft on the person but hard on the problem. Knowing that grudges and grievances can be the dripping tap that erodes the relationship and becomes a huge problem later on.

Treat your spouse as if you don’t know how much time you’ve got together. Your passion to love and be loved, the intimacy that drives your relationship is a precious gift, not to be taken for granted. Widows at 45 , two who are my friends, have taught me to take stock of the present moment, and be thankful. That attitude of gratitude doesn’t need to be saved up for one day a year in February… it needs to be sprinkled extravagantly throughout the sunrises and sunsets of the year.

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Elaine Froese speaks to church groups and women’s retreats.

Fixing Your Time Stress Mess

60 minutes

Workaholics will discover helpful strategies for managing their time stress. Gain understanding for the tensions of your age and stage on the farm. Learn why some problems are not solvable, but just need to be managed as polarities. Self-renewing people are joyful and productive producers.

$15

Rave reviews

“A joy to work with, heard loud and clear. When the farmers laughed or asked a great question, I knew they were listening and really wanted to learn from her. Her tips were easy to understand. It was just about understanding that conflict happens, and to have the confidence in yourself to ask for what you want. In the glowing review from farmers after her presentation, I knew they had heard that loud and clear.”
Maddy Berner, Event Planner & Communications Coordinator, National Milk Producers Federation National Milk Producers Federation
“I wanted to say a HUGE thank you for your virtual kitchen table chat with Arlan Academy. My wife and I signed up as it was exceptionally relevant to our current journey with potentially transitioning to her parents’ farm. The session was able to cover so many aspects of these crucial conversations and hearing you speak to both sides of the conversation was eye opening for my own perspective on this topic. It seemed to be very well attended and sounded like there were many other people who would echo my thoughts and feelings on it.”
N. Oakley, Farmer, Ontario
“Elaine helped me allocate $1 Million of assets the night I listened to her. Elaine’s presentation brings value to the use of my services in my office.”
Don Forbes, Forbes Wealth Management
“I recently joined in and listened to your Healthy Farmer Agriwebinar for FMC. I truly enjoyed hearing your perspective and even went and grabbed my Mom, away from her work, to come and listen in on some of your main points as well! One area that really stood out for me, both personally with our own succession plans and with our clients, was your discussion involving "Instant Influence" and how ready are you to change? I loved this concept!”
Annessa Good, FCC Transition Specialist, Alberta
“Elaine Froese truly is the Farm Whisperer. With her big heart and stern resolve, she guides families through uncharted waters and helps them arrive safely at their desired destination. She has been there, done that, and has helped hundreds of families come out on the other side. With your family and your farm legacy on the line, you owe it to yourself to start this conversation. You do not need to do it alone. Let Elaine Froese guide you through. Your legacy is being written day by day. How will you be remembered?”
Tracy Brunet, Host of The Impact Farming Show & CEO of Farm Marketer
“You speak like you’ve been sitting at our kitchen table! You know our family issues well. I am feeling more comfortable understanding what we now need to do. Elaine Froese is real.”
Audience Member,
“I attended the meeting you spoke at in Stratford Ontario recently. We held an emergency family/farm meeting today because of issues that I had enough of. We used a 'talking stick' like you recommended and wrote a chart of rules. The rest of the family thought the idea that we needed a meeting was worth rolling their eyes over, until we got started. The younger ones were quick to clue in that they now have an opportunity to be bluntly honest. The older ones took a bit longer to believe they could truly say what they think. In the end, the meeting needed two sessions because there was so much to talk about… and so many things people didn't realize were a big deal to the others. Your lessons and encouragement have given us the tools we need to get to a better place in our relationships and our business. Truly thankful.”
Kim Martin, Dairy Farmer, Ontario
“Helped me develop my framework to start having constructive and meaningful conversations around the farm.”
Tennille Wakefield, Farm Partner
“Some great lessons, Elaine! You continue to do some remarkable and potentially life-changing work.”
James Mitchell, Principal, Conversations Consulting
“Our family had a good farm meeting yesterday afternoon. Your Fairness video was a great topic of discussion. One of the action items after the meeting was to have my two non-farming siblings watch the video before the next big meeting they are involved with on the farm. It will be a great conversation starter as we catch them up on our current plan. As they are younger, we also hope it will help them to ask new questions that may not have been on their mind.”
G.G., Farm Family Legacy Coach, Alberta
“Elaine gives me excellent tools that help me work with my clients!”
Laurianne Osmack, Financial Planner / Partner, Doell Osmak Wealth Management
“She has a sense of “knowing” quickly what is happening in the family dynamic. Her messages to her audiences drive home what needs to be done next to solve the complex issues of farm transition and conflict resolution.”
Audience Member,
“Eye-opening. Excited to open the door of communication with my spouse and farm family.”
Ashley Hoppe, Farm Partner
“The Strong Farms, Strong Families session gave farm families an opportunity to meet face to face with Elaine Froese... hear her own story, experiences and skill set. From this information packed session and related materials, families could identify areas of success in their journey and other places they need assistance. The greatest take away was that participants could see that Elaine Froese is someone they can trust with the things that they hold most precious.... their family and their farm.”
Nancy Atkinson, Nobleford Ag Society, Alberta
“Elaine’s real-life scenarios help her audiences know they are not alone, knowing there are creative solutions to help them get the life on the farm they have always wanted.”
Audience Member,
“A long time female client who had refined the art of procrastination was so moved by the end of your presentation that she accepted your permission to “drop the bananas.” She contacted me soon after for an appointment to do some planning which included the selling of the family “Century Farm.” A very, very emotional decision on her part that was not likely to have occurred without your presentation.”
Don Forbes, Forbes Wealthy Management
“I just have to say… that your work is amazing and I have never forgotten your teachings from our session in Williams Lake at TRU. It is super important work. I know so many people going through the trauma of succession. I hate to use that word, but I was an “out-law” and know it can get terrible. I continue to forward your emails on to others. Keep doing what you do! You are amazing. You kind of walk into the fire regularly… and with a smile. Proud to have met you.”
Megan, BC Rancher
“As my husband and I eagerly started the course we were optimistic and excited to be taking this next step in our Farm Transition. We were starting to question ourselves and whether or not we were just being selfish and greedy, and if this Farm Transition was still an option for us. We barely got through the first Module and were already having such a huge relief. As we moved through the modulus there were so many times that we just sat back with our hands in the air and thought YES. My husband and I would smile with relief because all of the concerns that we have been struggling with were relevant and came up in the modules. We really enjoyed the course and are excited to move on to the next stages to find our farm resolution.”
Shannon Gilchrist, “Get Farm Transition Unstuck” online course participant
“My hubby farms with 2 brothers and parents, and it’s become a really toxic place. No communication, no respect, etc. Twelve months ago, my husband’s brothers told him they don’t want to work with him anymore and offered him a pay out. His parents did nothing to stop it! He had no choice but to leave. Three months later, we moved off the farm and into town. He has been offered heaps of jobs and is now truck driving and carting hay and grain. We have tried communicating with his parents about what happened but they are not interested. So basically my hubby has lost his family. Very sad but we as husband and wife are overall in a good place and moving on to create our own life. Please continue on with all your wonderful work in helping families on the farm. I continue to tell any farmers I know about you, that they must ‘google’ you, and read your books.”
Donna, Farmer, Australia

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+1-204-534-7466 | elaine(at)elainefroese.com

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